The Philosophy of an Erotica Writer: A Working Title
April 16, 2025
A short update today!
I promised in pervious posts a free book for subscribing to the newsletter, but the Wolf and the Fearie is more difficult to put into a newsletter than I expected because it was also distributed to Amazon (my fault.) However, a secondary book is in the process of publishing now, and it will be included on initiation email once it's ready to be posted! It will be free to all, but most accessible through the Newsletter, so consider signing up if you’re interested!
Very soon now the Library will get its organization settled, and after that the posting of free stories on various sites will begin. At that stage the contact page will be updated with the posting network and where you can get access to special and early content.
Thank you for your patience, anyone reading this, and blessings to you.
~With Love, Bede
April 13, 2025
Hello there my friend!
Last time I promised that this entry would be about the symbolism of frogs, so I won’t add much preamble today as we continue our discussion.
The frogs and toads of the world are symbolically enmeshed with the mushroom for various reasons. Ecologically, they thrive in similar environments, yes. Both are often associated with moistness, swamps, shallow water, hallucinogens, and places where grossness blooms. Frogs and toads were not so long ago beguiled and cursed as creatures of evil, tortured by alchemical doctors to remove the illness from humans so that the amphibian may suffer instead.
However, these curious little beasties of transformation are sacred. They, like the mushroom, embody a primordial fertility and were worshiped in Egypt for this through the goddess Heqet. Heqet is a woman with the head of a frog, and she breathed life into mankind after it was shaped from the Nile’s clay by her husband. The same men who honored the mushroom, feared the frog as men fear and misunderstand women. For the grosser aspects of the human body, which women must face with each turn of the moon, often contradict the lofty intellectualized ideas smart—but not very wise—people create about the living world.
Unlike the idealized butterfly, the frog must undergo body changes on their path to maturity that force them into awkward and seeming incompatible states of being. The caterpillar at least gets to wrap itself up an its cocoon and hide as its body melts and it becomes anew. A frog, like a human, must simply persist through all unsightly and uncomfortable gangly-ness until hopefully settling into a more suitable form. And then as adults must live between realms, while never really belonging to one.
The frog is a very peculiar symbol of change, growth, and fertility. One that does not shy away from the reality of itself. It’s this character of frogs that I respect the most.
(Plus, sperm look like tadpoles… haha!)
For these and other reasons, the mushroom and the frog have long been some of my favorite totems in life and have inspired my work. And that is why I have picked them to surround and support it as the aesthetic framework. It’s a plus I also think they’re cute!
~With Love, Bede
April 7, 2025
Greetings my friend, finally a post with a little more meat!
The newsletter has been established, a book published, a shop opened, a site built, and so, so much more is still to come. This is an exciting time indeed and the burst of spring-time life has only just begun. But I am not here today typing to talk to you anymore about the igniting power of the Aries season! I am here to talk a little bit more about the home which hovers above every page of this sight and its symbolism.
This place, the Toadstool Mansion which is home to Self-indulgent Fiction and yours truly, is—obviously—a mushroom. But why, why, why on earth has this aesthetic been chosen as a home for topics of love, sex, and magic?
The ancient Norsemen honored the mushroom, as they said it represented the self-replenishing waters which bring life to all things. The hallucinogenic properties of certain shrooms strengthened this association with the divine, and only now have modern medicine men come back around to respecting the positive transformative power such visions have on the human mind, body, and soul.
The mushroom itself, as a physical living object, is an interesting source of study even without this history or it’s protentional magical properties. It goes through many growth stages, and each one of them embodies a certain kind of obvious erotism associated with sex organs. Because of this, the mushroom has been a totem of many euphemisms, both clever and vulgar. However, the power of a living asexual being with still embodies the both sexes in its life cycle has left a powerful impression on the subconscious of the human mind.
A certain respect and awe should be given to the mushroom, which seems to appear from nowhere, grown from nothing, just to disappear as quickly. Like myths of the fairy, they sit in all sorts of places offering themselves as a hearty snack. But to the ignorant and foolhardy, they will quickly lead you into the darkness of the world beyond. Sex is much the same. Pleasure can be a reward or a reprieve, and for humans it also serves as an expression of great care and trust. There will be other times to speak on the dark side of eroticism, but let it be simply acknowledged for now.
Ultimately, the mushroom has become a symbol of the phallus and manhood. And like man must in the womb and childhood go through a period of androgenous femininity, so does the mushroom. Though both eventually reach maturity and seek self-replication within the air, which is the womb of both spores and ideas.
Consider this, as you familiarize yourself with the Toadstool Mansion, as one of its many croaking visitors.
Anyway, that’s more than enough for now. Next time, I’ll discuss frogs in more depth. Good tidings to everyone, I hope this fun little message finds you well.
~With Love, Bede
April 1, 2025
Happy April Fools day! This is just a short happy update!
I have very good news, my frist ebook (novelette really, but still!) has been successfully published. You can check it out here if you'd like to see the cover or pre-read some of it on your preferred ebook platform. If you do buy it, thank you! But know that it will be coming to you as a free download with my newsletter when that gets up and running. On that note, all the periphery accounts are set up and ready to be launched. Then the publishing of public chapter-by-chapter free content, full novels, and art will begin shortly after!
The promised Journal entry about the Wolf and the Fearie will be the next post, so look out for that if you're interested. That said, progress continues and I hope for you that your spring has been as productive as you'd hoped it would be!
~With Love, Bede
March 26, 2025
A small update for myself mostly, and to keep the content on going. I know it may seem slow moving around here, but I promise this is just the moment of stillness before the water boils!
Currently I am in the process of finishing, designing, and publishing my first story (teaser, this will be available ~for free~ once my newsletter is constructed) and getting together the social media and extended links that will start to fill out this little business. There are several completed novels awaiting release, but this novelette has a good amount of substance and style, making it a perfect first go on this self-publishing thing, as it honestly makes me a little nervous! So please look out for that!
Once this process is done, I'll be sure to make a little posting here about the writing of the story, share some of my process, and discuss the content in more depth, just because I think that's fun! I may also include some future plans with the story and its characters as well. I intend on doing that with all my released work, for those who may be interested in more. Once I'm more confident with publishing and I can dedicate myself to an actual schedule, I will make sure to keep everyone updated and offer ways for you to keep in closer contact with me (and get early access to new stories), if you would so like.
All of this should be soon coming within the limits of the next week, though in what order they will be in, I cannot promise. Anywho, have a wonderful day and please be well in the meanwhile.
~With Love, Bede
March 21, 2025
Hello, this is the first update to the journal!
As of this moment, I am fairly satisfied with the appearance and general aesthetic of the website. Though as it and I grow, there will surely be changes, for now it will do. In terms of site improvements, I would love for this journal to have different sections for different topics, and a way to sort entries by months and years. But I will cross that bridge when I get there, for now there isn't too much to sort anyway so I'm not going to worry about it just yet!
When I begin to learn java and add in the bulk of the written content I intend on sharing with you, the website will be improved--and made cuter by extension--as I am inspired. The initial burst to make a website has gotten us this far, and next there will be works to share which is what this place was invented for. The Library needs books after all! If anyone is reading this, you certainly shouldn't stick around just to hear me ramble (unless you like that sort of thing, then all aboard)! Not to mention I have so many more frogs to add!
I wanted to write this post to state my current intentions with this website, and to make the opening of it official. Of this I am extremely excited!
In my world view, today is in fact the first day of the New Year, as in accordance with western astrology the Aries solar season is upon us and the equinox has recalibrated the day. With it, spring has officially begun. Winter is spiritually and environmentally a time to focus on the inner world. The slowness of winter gives space for very inventive self-reflection, while also encouraging rest and re-orientation--maybe next year a journal entry will be dedicated to the season of winter and how valuable it is as an archetype. For now it is spring, and while my winter has included a deep study into appreciating the small blessings of life more, this spring I am dedicating myself to stepping out of my comfort zone. This site is a part of that initiative, the budding of life out of the seed but not yet blooming, so to speak.
Look forward to the future with me, and whatever your goals are, dear reader, I wish you well in them.
~With Love, Bede
March 18, 2025
This section of the website will be more like a blog than the other parts dedicated to semi-traditionally styled works found in the Library. It will be fairly informal and stream of conscious.
I can't promise what exactly the content will be, but it will likely tread on the borders of woo-hoo spirituality which makes up my general life perspective, astrology, and my thoughts on the spiritual significance of love and sex, which are often treated as anti-spiritual concepts. I full heartedly believe in the transcendency of love--romantic, familial, and platonic--and these concepts are pervasive in all my writing. The why behind that will probably fill up this entire web page eventually, along with my other rambles.
~With Love, Bede